Officially Welcomed To Adult Birthdays

Well, so my 25th birthday started out promising. I awoke at a decent hour of 20 till 9 and began packing for my trip down to Austin. I wanted to be on the road at 10 am, but didn't quite make it. At 10:30 am, Philip called me and told me he would be on webcam in a few minutes. I thought he would call a little later at noon, so I had to rush around and get my computer out of the car and get it set up. We had a nice little chat before he got hungry and had to go. It was the first time I had seen his face in over 2 months.

So, I got in my car and headed out at about 12:30 p.m. The trip was uneventful, until about 20 miles from my target destination I noticed my car said, "Check left tire pressure". At this point I had gotten into the area of the greater Austin area and so traffic is busier. I began looking for a gas station or a Walmart parking lot to pull over in. I didn't find any until a mile or two down the road. I pulled over in a H-E-B parking lot and noticed my left tire was completely flat. I tried to use the pump get that is standard in my Pontiac Grand Prix GXP--but it didn't work. I called for roadside assistance, but they were going to tow me to a closed car dealership. So, I thought I could do better. I called Beth and Larry, our family friends, and they came about 20-30 minutes later to survey the damage. My car doesn't come with a spare or a tire jack. It notes this in black and white in the owners manual. I guess they figure that with the high tech tire pressure system located in each tire that you will not need a spare. Larry called AAA and they said they would tow my vehicle. When the gentleman got there, he say a whole and got a temperary patch for it and aired it up. I drove the short distance to Walmart across the street. They said it would take 1.5 hours before they could get it in....so I waited. We went to dinner and by the time I got back, they were pulling my car into the shop. We decided to go in Walmart and buy a birthday cake for me. A few minutes later I heard my name on the speaker. I told Beth, "Either they got it done quickly or there is a serious problem." I had a feeling it was a serious problem.

I went back to the Tire shop and they showed me my tire. It had huge air type bubbles all over the inner wall of the tire. The guy counted 16 he said. So, the tire was ruined. Several of the tire workers said it was a manufacturers defect. My tire is a fancy sport tire that has 18 inch rims...so they did not have any in stock. So, I had to leave my car in their parking lot and wait until this morning to call Firestone/Bridgestone.

They told me it was from driving with low pressure for a period of time. This I knew was not the case, because of my tire pressure system and how closely I monitor my gauges. Nevertheless, I have to pay nearly $300 for one tire. Depressing. Beyond depressing.....

So, for the first time, I spent my birthday without my family. Without my husband. Hot and sweaty standing around figuring out what to do with my tire and car for 4 hours. I must admit I wanted my husband in a time like this. I couldn't call him. I couldn't talk to him. I was alone.

So, I guess this is what adult birthdays are like. Every other day.

Cardio Girl

Well, I have worked up to 40 minutes on the Elliptical machine. I work at or above my target heart rate most of those 40 minutes. I will eventually combine more strength, but that is not typically as hard for me as I have always been the muscle type of girl.

My birthday is next Monday. This will be the first year to not celebrate with my family and especially with my husband Philip. I may go to Austin so I won't be all alone. I have had several of my new friends invite me to dinner if I don't have anything planned.

On another note, as a reminder Philip's birthday is October 4th!!!! Please mark this on your calendar! If you could at least send him a Birthday card I would greatly appreciate it. Keep in mind that it can take up to 2 weeks for him to receive mail and packages.

If you would like to send him a little something I suggest Gift Certificates. Here is a link to AAFES, which is the PX, which they have one at Camp Taji.
http://www.certifichecks.com/cgi-local/SoftCart.exe/cgi-bin/web06/affil_template.pl?U+affil+cnvj4387ffa26ca2+aafes_l52598+aafes_l52598+cnvj4387ffa26ca2+NULL+welcome

Philip also mentioned books by Orson Scott Card. The Ender's Game series. He already read the first Ender's Game.

It's really my goal to make this years birthday a good one for Philip!!! ;)

Update

I have been going to the gym this week with a girl I met on Craigslist. She needed a workout partner and wanted to get fit for when her husband returns from Iraq in September 2009, just like Philip. So, we had a lot in common from the get go. We get along pretty well. I must say she is more motivated right now, but who knows maybe that will change and I will have to push her a little. She is always saying, "15 minutes on the eliptical?". If you don't know what the eliptical machine is, it is basically a stair stepper. It really kills me, but I went for 15 minutes today and 10 minutes yesterday. Plus we do about 20 minutes on the treadmill and do the weight machines. Right now I am really focusing more on the cardio aspect because that is the hardest for me. I have always been very strong and muscular, so I don't have as much trouble lifting weights or getting excited about lifting weights. I can't believe how good working out is feeling!! It has done a lot for me already and it has just been three days! I think it has affected how I sleep, because I got up early today and didn't feel super groggy like I have been feeling. Right now, I am not focusing on the actual losing weight aspect. I am focusing on getting stronger and doing more for my health.

Well, it's been 2 months since Philip left for Iraq. I have to say that all in all it gets harder, not easier. I was just thinking about it today. I think everybody has strength to go a certain amount of time without someone, but then you kind of just go, "Man, I want to see this person NOW!!" That's where I am at. Two months was long enough and now I am ready to have Philip back, but of course it doesn't work that way, so I am pushing along.

Along with my exercising, I have been cooking more and watching what I eat. Basically, I try to put good, whole grains and fiber in me several times a day. I am eating lots of Oranges as my "snack" to stave off cravings. With all these healthy habits, it makes me miss my husband more. I wish I could share this with him. As I was listening to my workout partner, Sabrina, jabber on and on about something that I wasn't really listening to, I thought of Philip and how much I wished I could be working out with him. He truly is my best friend and there isn't anyone else who I would rather workout with. I think about all the times he asked me to go and I just wouldn't. I always came up with an excuse. I guess I just had to really do it for me. When there was no one else making me, but myself. The one thing that has been hitting me lately is just missing simply being someone's wife. Just doing and taking care of someone. Having someone to share your daily thoughts and feelings with.

Driving by the Apaches on post usually brings me happiness. They bring me closer to Philip in a way, because I know that somewhere 7000 miles away he is touching one and fixing one and covered in dust and grease. But, there is definitely a sense of longing. Yesterday as I was driving to the Gym on post, I teared up when I saw the Apaches. I guess after a while you just can't hold in the reality of that longing. I don't cry much. It wouldn't do a lot of good. I mean, maybe I should, but most times I am just numb or in denial of some of what I am feeling. I go to bed alone, wake up alone, and rarely hear my husband's voice for longer than 30 minutes a week. I get used to it and honestly because he can't call that often, I don't anticipate it anxiously. In a way, I like that.

I've been watching Star Trek Deep Space Nine from the beginning. Philip was watching the later seasons when we got married and so now I am going back and catching up on what it was like before the Federation was at war with the Dominion. I have become a true trekkie thanks to my hubby. I liked it a little before, but now, I like it A LOT!!!! ;)



Blessings,
Courtney

Job Search

The last few weeks I have scoured the job listings on the Work force link website. I have found a few positions that I would most like to have.

This past week I worked up a resume and applied for a couple of jobs.

I have been enjoying the Olympics. I especially like watching Michael Phelps and also the U.S. Gymnastics team.

March..........

I got a call from Philip today. We talked about many things. His grief over losing his Grandpa Gosvener and wishing he could be near me during this time. Towards the end of the call he told me the most devastating of all news...........his R&R from Iraq is set for March. Not Christmas. Although he put in for it, two other people, DANG and a T.J. (Don't know him) put in their re-enlistment contracts to have choice of R&R dates and they choose Christmas.

It was a disappointing blow. I can't say I am surprised, I geared myself for it. However, March is a lot longer time than I expected. That's well over half of his tour....about 9 months of it. So he said on the bright side, "We will have only six months left after R&R". I guess that is true. It's the space in between that is the hardest I think.

I was feeling bored in my house last night and so I went and saw the movie "Mamma Mia", which is a musical of ABBA songs. I was on the fence whether to see it or not, but there was no other chick flick movies out and I had already seen Batman and Hancock and just wasn't in the mood for Action. I was pleasantly surprised. Not that the movie had any real "substance", but it was uplifting none the least. It was full of songs that made you want to sing along! So I guess it was a winner in terms of giving my mood a boost. I also rented "Atonement", which I also was prejudice about. I had only heard bits of what it was about and didn't know if it was as epic as many had said. I thought that it was a wonderful period piece that had one of those deep and lasting impressions. That kind of movie that when it is over you stare at the credits poundering the depth of it.

So, the truth is I have been scouring for a meaningful book to read. I am just not in the mood for non-fiction right now. I want a comparable book to the movie Atonement. One vivid with imagery and meaning. So, I will continue that journey at the library...maybe today.

Update: A month....

Philip has been gone exactly a month.....tomorrow. The hardest thing is the lack of communication. Just last Saturday my sister called to tell me her water had broke and of course I wanted to share this with my husband. But, I couldn't. I couldn't call him up or text him. All I could do was email him and hope he had a chance to go to the internet cafe in the next few days. So far, he hasn't been able to get internet in his room. He said they don't have any servers available.

He calls me about 2 times a week and I never know when or if he will call. Usually the conversations last about 15 minutes or less because they use phone booths that everyone else uses and they are only allowed to talk so long.

Philip seems to be doing good. They keep them so busy he rarely has time to think about things....like I do. Like tonight, I really wish I could be able to talk to him, even if that meant Instant messaging with him. But, I am writing tonight to get it out.

I have been back in Kansas for a week visiting my new nephew, Ethan and it has been nice to be back. Today I went to Oswego and participated in a Christmas in July stamping class put on by Sarah Gilreath, who is my TAC upline. (i.e. TAC is The Angel Company, I am an independent demonstator with the company based out of Salina, KS). They showed me some really cool ideas for Christmas! I love getting new ideas for paper crafting!

Austin

So I have been in Austin since Sunday. I am staying with Philip's family friends Beth and Larry. I had a really good connection with them when Philip and I visited them back in April, so I decided to come down again and visit.

Beth and I went to a card making class this evening. I must say that it was wonderful at teaching me a few new techniques, but I was overwhelmed as was Beth at the level of difficulty involved in these designs.

It involved using several different inks and surfaces. All of the stamping was done on acrylic or glossy paper, so Stazon ink was used. Versamark ink was used as well, which is a distressing type of ink.

The cards turned out good, but flawed. But, looking at them now, they are bursting with colors. So, these are definitely techniques I will use in the future!

Another good thing has occurred. Larry has a great sense of humor and well, I had one of those deep belly laughs that I hadn't really had in months. It was very refreshing to be laughing again.

Things are still hard and I miss Philip a little more each day, but I realize just as Beth and I discussed that I have to go on if for nothing else but self preservation while Philip and I are apart.

Beth and I are taking another class tomorrow night called, "Rubber Stamping Basics"--so this should be a whole light easier and I know I will learn some great new tricks!!!

Tomorrow I will have to upload the pictures of the cards I made!